Elephant's memory (High school reflection)

These walls,

have somehow become mechanical

while remaining organic,

as they’ve devoured my naivety, insecurity

rage and fears.

Four long years and yet these walls,

mean absolutely nothing now.

It’s the people inside them

that give us an elephants memory

with every laugh, every anguish,

and every cheshire grin.

How I wish these walls

left me with something more than indifference,

but yet I’ve thanked them over and over again

out of some masochist belief,

for making my very being impenetrable.

How I wish they’d leave me with some positivity,

not pure apathy and annoyance,

other than just the beauty of the two wonderous people

I met that with me I’ll carry.

I wonder if I’ll regret my choice of leaving early,

but, perhaps like a vampire I’ll just keep looking onward, 

and conquer these ill-fated feelings of nostalgia. 

I know I’ll never stop pondering if I should go,

so here’s my leaving,

before my will becomes weaker and my eyes begin to linger

longer than they should;

as I continue my search for a place where laughter is pure and unaffected.